Gratitude, Respect and Appreciation!!

As Monday dawns and I reflect on Greg and Christy's Wedding, I am filled not only with Gratitude, but with Respect and Appreciation for these two young people. Their love, determination, and steadfast devotion to a common goal resulted in a day to remember and lessons for us all.

As the afternoon beckons, I am reminded once again that my children are my Greatest Teachers and as a Mom I am called upon to Applaud their Accomplishments and share Aretha's Message with All.



Having spent the last several days in Christiansburg, Virginia, I witnessed first-hand Greg's calm confidence, his powerful mind and his steadfast determination to pursue his heart's desire. He knows what he wants, marches to the tune of his own drummer and wins the race with a steady pace. At 25, he is living with his soul mate in a home they bought together with their Great Dane, in an area far from his birth place and has been totally independent for the last four years.

He trusts himself, throws off negative influences, loves unconditionally, knows what brings him joy and moves toward it day by day! He is managing an organic restaurant, has honed his cooking and managerial skills, works 12 hour days, 5 days a week and greets each guest with a smile. Never asking for approval, treating others with kindness, answering only to himself, he gains my Appreciation and Respect!

Seeing Christy in action, I am struck by the self-confidence that has emerged in the last few years. Clearly, she has blossomed in love. She completely planned the wedding, bought her dress, shoes and arranged for both food and entertainment. At the reception, she reigned as a Queen, fully composed as she posed for pictures, danced, cut the cake and made appreciative remarks to those who helped her. She commands Respect!

I also appreciate Linda Sowers, J.R. Karr and Preston who have welcomed Greg into their family and appreciated his presence in Christy's life. My great appreciation is also extended to John Reeder and Mary Brun who took time off from work to make the cake, prepare the food and drinks.

Greg and Christy met, fell in love, found a way to combine their strengths and energy, buy their first home, get married, and surround themselves with those who love and support them.

As a Mom, living far from her first born, I am forever grateful to those around Greg and Christy who have supported their dreams, desires and visions.

I appreciate Mikie Moser for giving them the chance to work together; for hosting Christy's bridal shower, for giving birth to Belle, who was the cute flower girl, and for arranging for their wedding, reception and stay at the Nesselrod. I also appreciate Robbie Stewart, who delivered a touching toast to their long lasting friendship and served as Best Man.

The big day would not have been nearly as bright without the presence of Wendy Fore, who was the best lady-in-waiting, I've ever seen! She remembered the nutribar, the curling iron, the hairdo, applied Christy's makeup perfectly and signed the guest book with Laura Rose Smoke.

Wayne and Betty are also very much appreciated for their good counsel and support over the last several months leading up to their wedding. It meant so much to both Christy and Greg that Wayne officiated and blessed the union with a special prayer. Special thanks is also extended to Mark Gordon who ensured that everything at Nesselrod was picture perfect.

Greg and Christy are making great strides forward with the support of friends and family. They are moving in the direction of their dreams with focus, determination and commitment not often seen in young adults their age. I see their gentle spirits, their consistent actions, and their dedication which is awe-inspiring. The results are magical and their future beckons brightly.

I thank God for giving me these fine teachers!

Enjoying Everyday Wonders - The Power of Intent and Gratitude!

Seeing my smiling daughter and the Red Maple that has sprung up beneath the Azalea bush, my faith is renewed.  My heart swells with appreciation and I silently give thanks to God who always hears and responds to my heartfelt desires.  I am filled with gratitude and a sense of wonder!  Looking out, I see ample evidence of the biology of belief and the miracle of life.

Twenty plus years ago, I prayed for a blond, blue eyed daughter; fifteen years ago, God responded to my prayers and I brought this little beauty home from Latvia.  She has been a bright star in my life every day and a great reminder of the power of intent and belief.

For years I have marveled and appreciated the red leaves of fall and I have looked out my backyard window and seen primarily green and golden leaves.  Beauties of nature, but the landscape was missing the red leaves that I adored.  That is, until this Fall...

Last Mother's Day, my husband and youngest son, surprised me with a brand new Crape Myrtle.  Much to my surprise, its leaves are now turning a bright red!  Off to the left, my eye falls upon a Red Maple that has sprung up magically beneath an Azalea bush that was planted approximately 16 years ago.

My advice and expectation:

Enjoy your days and look for everyday wonders.  Focus on your blessings and share your gratitude.    When you share your joy, voice your intentions and express your heart felt desires, you can let them go and know that miracles will pop up, much like my Red Maple, my lovely daughter, Sandra, and my Daisies in the Fall.

My request:

I hope to hear about the everyday wonders in your life!  Please share!

Blessings! Reflect to Recharge!

I love reflecting on all the good things in my life.... My family, my friends, my home, my work and my challenges. These good things strengthen me, make me bounce back and continue on my journey.

When I stop to reflect and recharge, I am often driven to action. Feeling not only blessed and energized, I can then focus on what stills needs to be done. With this short break for relection, I am recharged, filled with a new sense of urgency and find that I accomplish more in a shorter amount of time.

Sometimes, we just need a jump start and often this jump start, begins with a break! With gratitude and appreciation, I encourage you to take a break and watch this short movie. It just may be what the "doctor in you" needs to reflect on to recharge.

The book and movie, "May you Be Blessed," is about joy, gratitude, appreciation, kindness and love. Allow it to rekindle your inner light and then consider blessing someone else by sharing it with them.



What action will you take today to energize you?

“May you be blessed and may others be blessed by you.”

With Love and Blessings,

Doreen

Gratitude- Thanks for the Rain and My Sister!

I was reflecting on the beautiful day I encountered yesterday and realized how much I appreciate the rain! We have recently had a flood of rain. It began on Wednesday and was relentless for several days straight. We did not see the sun until Sunday.

During this time, when I had planned to visit the ocean, I found myself at home, reading and listening to CDs. I connected with my spirit with a greater intensity and was flooded with gratitude. Since I was not driving, I found more time to journal, to connect and to align myself with my core values and higher source.

I wrote about the special people in my life and saw my sister dance across my pages. I remember the beautiful girl who lit up the room. I see her bright eyes and engaging spirit. I remembered her warm hugs and uplifting jokes.

Throughout my life, she has added sparkle and fun to our family gatherings. In times of challenge, she has provided a home and a safe haven. On countless occasions, when I sought comfort, she provided not only words of encouragement but a listening heart. She has been fierce defender and a warm companion. Her spirit literally radiates energy and we have been blessed to have her in our lives.

Without rain, the sun would not be so dear. Without challenges, my sister would have been special, but not nearly as appreciated. The darkness reveals her brilliance.

Who lights up your life? When will you find reason to celebrate with the rain?

Finding Hidden Blessings and Gratitude in Our Most Difficult Situations

On this the Eve of Thanksgiving, I am reflecting on my many blessings and feeling thankful for the lessons I have learned from my mom and dad. My dad, my living Ray of Hope, is a survivor, and he taught me by living example, how one can find the hidden blessings in difficult situations.

Growing up, I tried to run away from difficult situations; If I couldn't run away, I urged punitive actions and plotted my escape. As a teenager, I saw my brother make one bad choice after another. He verbally abused my parents, skirted the law and made me uncomfortable in our home. As a know-it-all-teenager, I pointed my finger at my brother and advised my parents to "Send him away." I told them, "He needs a military school. His behavior is intolerable."

When my parents ignored my advice, I sought refuge in my room, in my studies and in my goals. After high school graduation, I enrolled in college and felt lucky to escape from the daily rants, rages and excuses. The drama and trauma of living with a younger brother who marched to the tune of a different drummer was more than I wanted to deal with.

When my brother threw shoes at me in anger and was not challenged, I fled to the safety of my sorority house. I felt powerless and heartbroken as his tirades continued. I saw the frustration and exasperation in my mother's eyes and I left with a sense of relief and guilt. I could no longer witness the challenges he presented and after graduating from college, I headed for Germany where my sister and husband lived as part of the American military community.

Little did I know then, that I could not run far enough or fast enough to escape the lessons that were meant just for me. In the intervening years, I have learned that when I ran away and did not choose to learn the lesson at a given point in time, I was given more opportunities to master the lesson and given similar challenges to face. As the saying goes, "YOU CAN RUN, But YOU CAN NOT HIDE," until the lesson is mastered. I have also learned that challenges and failures are not the enemy and often our best teachers.

While I was not in CA to witness the events day to day, I did learn of the threats on my brother's life and did learn that my parents moved twice in quick succession in an attempt to protect him and get him away from bad influences. I shook my head in disbelief and was glad I was not facing the challenges at close range. At the age of 23, I thought I had escaped for good and I was convinced that I would never have any children of my own.

Meanwhile, my mom and dad remained steadfast in their devotion to our family. We lost my mother to cancer when she was only 55 and in my heart I sensed that she could bear no more. In her lifetime, she had shouldered more than her share of heartbreak and she did not know how to tap into resources outside of our family.

If my dad grew tired of the challenges of dealing with my younger brother and his various addictions, I never witnessed his despair. Instead, I saw a man and a father who consistently saw the best in any situation, in my brother, and in the people around him. My dad loved us all unconditionally and believed in looking for the blessings in difficult situations. Time after time, he encouraged us all to persevere, to learn from our mistakes and to try again. Through good times and difficult times, my father celebrated the blessings and lessons learned.

Slowly, I began to absorb the lessons I witnessed and decided not to run away anymore from my challenges. My direction and tune changed. I decided that I very much wanted to have children and when my husband and I faced multiple miscarriages, we decided that we would take deliberate action and adopt our children.

We lost my brother, Ray Jr., when he was in his early 30's, shortly after we adopted our first son, Greg. Greg was only a little boy when my brother gave him a prayer that still hangs in his room. On occasion, I stop to read the words of that prayer and I am reminded of the blessings that my brother brought to my life.

Despite his challenges, my brother, inherited my dad's generosity of spirit and is remembered with gratitude. He brought joy to the lives of the people he met and never knew a stranger. Within minutes, he would draw a crowd of those who wanted to hear his stories and adventures. As his sister, I did not always appreciate my brother's gifts, but my dad always did.

Today, I realize that my brother served me in many ways. The brother who made many mistakes while seeking to live life to the fullest, was loved unconditionally and in the process, I saw my father grow in stature. My dad's faith, hope and love were constant and as result, I was able to learn by example.

As a parent of three young adults with a variety of unique needs, I can truly appreciate the lessons I learned in watching my father and brother deal with learning, social, and addiction challenges. In my darkest hours and in the most difficult situations, I remember how my dad stood strong and was ever ready to support my brother, my sister and I. As I reflect, on his life, I am inspired to walk in his footsteps... to love my children unconditionally and to stand by them as they learn from their mistakes, and to believe in a Ray of Hope when the situation looks bleakest.

When I feel weary, I remember my mom and her early departure and take time for reflection and rejuvenation. I have learned to take time for myself so that I can tap into the reservoir of faith and have more to give to my family, my friends and community. In tough times, I reach out to my extended support system...to my family, friends, teachers, school administrators and counselors. I believe, as Hillary Clinton said, "It takes a village to raise a child."

I remember my dad and am strengthened by my his humor and example. He found time to laugh, to enjoy the moment, to celebrate with us, to support us and to work through the problems we encountered individually and as a family. Today, being the adult daughter of a Ray of Hope, I believe that there are hidden blessings in our challenges and failures and I am filled with gratitude.

Who is part of your village and who can you turn to when your child presents a challenge that must be acknowledged and appreciated? Who serves as your Ray of Hope and how will you share your gratitude on this day of Thanksgiving?