Brenda Baker, Angel in Adoption - Interviewed, Finally an IEP for Mom!

Attn: All Moms!
I am participating in a wonderful telesummit designed to help Moms in their quest to find answers to their most difficult challenges. Finally, an IEP for Mom launched today and featured Brenda Baker, an Angel in Adoption, who is determined to help Moms in navigating through stormy seas.

Brenda's inspirational journey and transformation is sure to refresh, refuel and recharge the hearts of those lucky enough to hear her story.
Listen to her interview now and hear Brenda describe her early misfortunes, her heart-felt desires and how she moved from a poor coal mining town to an affluent community in Maryland while following her heart and making many dreams come true!

Listen to Brenda as she transitions

:

from being a Heart-Broken Child, to a Single Mom,

from being a Married Mom, to a Mom with an Adopted Son,

from being a Mom of a Young Adult with Special Needs to a Mom with a Mission!

Sign up today so that you won’t miss Brenda’s interview. It is only available for free for the next 36 hours. Over the next three weeks, I will be interviewing 14 other guides, mentors and educators and sharing information that sustained me during my darkest hours in hopes that you will not make my mistakes.

You can listen live to every call via phone or via webcast for up to 48 hours for Free. It is our hope that you come to OASIS of Hope and Support as we know that it is frustrating and lonely to wander in a Desert alone. Register, Listen,and Enjoy the Abundance of the OASIS!

A Reason to Celebrate, A Reason to Hope and A Reason to Share!

Today is Robert’s birthday. He turned 19 today. As I contemplate his age, I realize that my youngest son is a young man! Even, more significant in many ways, he is mobile and is gaining more independence each day. He got his driver's license this morning and is now out driving on his own...behind the wheel without another licensed driver for the first time!

This is a milestone and a reason for celebration.

For years now, Robert has been responsible for maintaining our yard. He has been mowing the lawn, trimming the shrubs, power edging, spreading the mulch and planting new trees and shrubs. He has helped our neighbors with power washing and deck staining, spring and fall cleanup projects and snow removal. With his new mobility, he can now easily perform these services outside of our neighborhood and share his love of nature with those in Northern VA.

To see "Robert's yard" the fruits of his labor, and his latest venture and dream, visit Believe in a Ray of Hope website.

This milestone also brings to mind other celebrations and memories of years gone by. Flashing back, I recall, when I first learned that Robert would be joining our family. It was a sunny July 4th. The year was 1995, and yet I remember the details like it happened yesterday. To learn how this miracle unfolded, contact me and I will send you the full story.

In September 1995, Sandra and Robert joined our family and the picture above was taken in the early months. We enrolled Sandra in kindergarten and while we used our limited Latvian vocabulary, Sandra quickly picked up English and became a translator for Robert. Meanwhile, Robert quickly picked up a household broom, adopted it as his favorite toy, and has been sweeping up ever since!

Greg quickly bonded with them and they were seen as three peas in a pod. Our family, friends, and neighbors joined us in celebration. Everyone around us embraced Sandra and Robert and showered them with gifts. Within weeks of their arrival, their closets and drawers were bulging with clothes and toys.

Now, 15 years later, much has transpired. Greg has moved out, is happily managing the kitchen of an organic restaurant, has become a great cook, and is engaged to Christy. They share an old farmhouse, have planted a garden, love their Great Dane, Peyton, and plan to marry next year and begin their own business in the spring.

Sandra is in her second year of college. While attending classes full time, she is working part time, earning money, shopping, and paying off a portion of her college expenses. She is loved by the children in the neighborhood and their parents who see her as a warm loving spirit. She is highly sought after as a baby sitter and is determined to become an elementary school teacher.

Looking backwards, I realize that our lives have been tremendously enriched by their presence and through adoption. We have experienced great joy, success, pain, and frustration and we have weathered life as a family. I was naive and made many mistakes in the last 23 years as a parent, yet, I would not change my life in any way today.

Experience has been a great teacher. I have learned that transitions are seldom easy but when we can face our challenges with those we love and admire, we often find greater meaning in our lives.

While Sandra and Robert both still share the front doorway, I realize that time is marching forward and they too will be looking to venture beyond our doorsteps. Soon they will be marching out with high hopes and dreams for themselves, following in their older brother’s footsteps.

I continue to believe that our dreams and hopes will propel us to new heights and both Robert and Sandra seem to have caught the beat! What do you think?

Hope and Action Today, Trust and Miracles Tomorrow

Would you like to know how you can turn hope and action today into trust and miracles tomorrow?

Would you like to learn a formula to support you in transforming your hopes into your fondest dreams and the steps to follow in putting your own miracles in motion?

Would you like to hear a story illustrating how I used the Believe in a Ray of Hope Formula to create a true Christmas miracle in my life?

Believe in a Ray of Hope Formula:

1. Hope plus Action creates Belief.
2. Belief plus Action creates Trust.
3. Trust and Expectation create Miracles.

My Best Christmas Story!

Hope is Born
It seems like only yesterday... there I sat, a woman of 34, who had a ticking biological clock telling me that it was time to nurture my soul, it was time to open my heart and it was time to bring home my baby. The deep yearning I felt was magnified by two miscarriages and the sweet dimpled children I saw every where I looked. Hope was born. Now it was time for action.

Hope and Action Create Belief
I knew that my husband and I would be parents and that belief was reinforced as we sat in the FACE meeting all those years ago. We heard stories of success, we learned of other childless couples who had adopted children, saw happy family pictures and children who were growing up and thriving with love and attention. As we walked out of the seminar, in November 1986, I envisioned life with our baby.

Belief and Action Create Trust
Every day, I took another step toward my dream of creating a family. In taking action, we were providing evidence to ourselves that we believed in our dream. Our belief and action became our constant companions and we started to share our dream. While preparing for the holidays, we told our families and friends of our adoption plans; we wrote about our lives together, our hopes and dreams and composed a letter to the "woman" who would choose us to be the parents of her unborn baby. We had no idea who the woman would be and we knew in our hearts that we would be blessed. We met with an attorney who had adopted a child himself and learned more about the process.

After Christmas, we would draft ads to be put in college newspapers. With a clear intention in mind, we directed our focus to helping a less fortunate family to have a Merry Christmas. We attended church and were moved by Father Clark who seemed to be speaking directly to us when he said, "Put God in the driver's seat." We were being instructed to relax and trust. Father Clark's words were powerful and after church we approached him, "We enjoyed your sermon and would like you to assist us in helping another parish family. Can you connect us with a family thats need financial support over the holidays? We want to buy Christmas presents and food for a needy family." He replied, "When I get requests like yours, I always direct them to Hope of Northern VA, a social service agency in Fairfax."

Trust and Expectation Create Miracles
December, 1986, arrived and our hopes and beliefs had been shared. We had taken action to provide evidence of our intentions and rested with trust, knowing and expecting that our miracle would unfold at the right time and place.

We contacted the staff at Hope of Northern VA, told them that we wished to support a family and waited for a response, so that we could begin our christmas shopping. In the middle of December, the staff member called us back and said that she had scanned her client list and identified Natalie and her 2 year old son, Jason, as the family who would appreciate our support.

Natalie conveyed her telephone number and a desire to meet with us to the staff member. I called Natalie and learned that she, like me, loved arts and crafts and that Jason was a fast learner who loved to play and sing. I also learned that Natalie was expecting her second child in January. I said, "Natalie, what can we buy for your baby?" She replied, "Do not buy anything. My baby will not be coming home with me. I have made plans for adoption." In response, I said, "John and I hope to adopt and have written a letter that we hope to share with birth mothers like you. Would you be willing to read our letter and give us feedback on how we might modify it?" "Yes, " Natalie replied.

On December 23, 1986, we drove to a tiny apartment in Falls Church, with presents piled high and a letter for review. We met Natalie and Jason and were impressed with their warmth and hospitality. They were truly delighted as each package was laid to rest under their small Christmas tree. Before leaving, I pulled out the letter and told Natalie that I would like her to take a few minutes to read it. "Please give us any suggestions on how it might be received by a woman in your shoes who was looking to find a good home for her unborn child." Natalie read our letter over carefully and suggested that we not mention that we were Catholic as some women might not wish to have their child raised as a Catholic. We thanked her for her feedback and left her with the letter.

Christmas Eve arrived and we got an unexpected call from Natalie. She had been up all night; she had been thinking of us; and if we were still interested in adopting, she wanted us to adopt her unborn child. We jumped for joy, rejoiced like never before, and were with her when she delivered our son on January 7, 1987. On January 9th, Natalie was met by her mother, my husband, and me, and was discharged from the hospital. She tearfully released Gregory into my open arms and gave me a hug and a letter to share with him when he became of age. In that moment, we became a family and my miracles were embraced.

As you can see, miracles do come true. I hope you will consider using the Believe in a Ray of Hope formula to put your own miracles in motion. Remember the 3 step process:

1. Share your hopes and dreams;
2. Believe and take action in the direction of your dream; and
3. Relax and trust that your dreams will come true.

What hope and dream will you share? What actions can you take to demonstrate your intention? How will you set your miracles in motion and Believe in a Ray of Hope?

Choices, Consequences and Connections to a Ray of Hope

Come back with me to July 4, 1995. I sat lounging in a chair, book in hand, with one eye on my 8 year old who was frolicking with a friend in the community pool. I heard the familiar ring of my cell, picked it up and heard the voice of my husband, urging us to come home quick. The long awaited call from Latvia had come in, and if I came home now I could speak to the adoption coordinator who had identified our daughter. Even though it was midday, the fireworks had begun for me and our lives would never be the same.

On that wonderful afternoon, I learned of not only the blond, blue eyed 5-year old little girl who was chosen to make our family complete, but also of her 3-year old cherub looking brother who was also looking for a home. The choice we made that afternoon had consequences that continue to impact our lives. On that day, July 4, 1995, our family of three became a family of 5.

I flew to Latvia in early August, met both Sandra and Robert, delighted in their hugs, their affection and the joy they showed while blowing bubbles, using crayons and running along the beach. In the adoption court, I learned that Sandra had lived with her birthmother for the first four years of her life and that Robert had been placed in the orphanage at birth and had language delays, but these exuberant children were happy, healthy and would add joy to our lives and our connections were cemented. They would come home with me to United States, be met at the airport by their father, and older brother and we would learn to believe in a ray of hope together.

Fast forward 7 years, Greg, our oldest adopted at birth, is now 15, Sandra is 13, and Robert is 11. Both in their teens, Greg and Sandra keep busy with friends and sports. Robert at 11 has been regressing, his 4th grade teacher has told us his reading skills in 5th grade are not what they were in 4th grade. I'm speechless, my worst fears are being realized. I have been complaining for years that the school and Robert's teachers were not meeting his educational needs. My frustration and anger escalate and finally, feeling misunderstood, I turn to our family doctor, who in turn refers us to a neurologist who runs a wide variety of tests on Robert and in the process, we recieve the diagnosis of Klinefelter Syndrome (KS), 47 XXY.

In learning about KS, we learned that boys like our son, Robert, who have an extra X chromosome often experience language delays, learning disabilities, and are misdiagnosed with ADHD or ADD. Finally, Robert's reading challenges, communication difficulties, frustration and emotional outbursts have a name and begin to make sense to us all. Finally, with the diagnosis, we feel a sense of relief and begin to see a Ray of Hope. Finally, we are able to stop pointing fingers, blaming the teachers, and are able to begin taking actions to serve the needs of our son and the needs of our family.

When have you made choices, faced consequences, and connected to a Ray of Hope?